Standing in the Rain
by Alex Day
Summary: HG/DM. Five years after the war, a romance blossomed between Draco and Hermione. Engaged to be married, something snapped and caused Hermione to run away. Now ten years later, the new man and the changed woman meet. Can the romance be rekindled?Smut later
1. Chapter 1

**Standing in the Rain**

Part 1

**Alright, so, unfortunately, I don't own these characters. Sucks, doesn't it? Then I'd be making wonderful millions... goes into daydream about swimming in hundred dollar bills Anyhow, the plot is mine... sorta. **

**This is a "song-fic" as some writers call them. It was inspired by the song **_**Standing in the Rain**_** by Billy Talent. It is an amazing, and terribly sad, song. Remember, this is a LOOSE base. **

**Anyway, I was planning on writing the whole story before I published it, but, I've kind of been... shall we say, stuck, on it for a while. I haven't been able to write on ANY of my stories for quite a while now... I don't know why, but I've just got no creative juices flowing right now... but a few people, quite persistent they were, couldn't wait for me to write the whole thing, so I'm giving you all a bit of a teaser now! Hah! Heehee I'm evil :-)**

Her head was pounding. She'd had the same headache for three days now. Slowly, she walked down the endless street, her short red skirt tight against her legs. She swayed her hips and pushed her breasts out, trying to look attractive.

The first time she'd run out of money, unable to get her fix, she'd started selling her body. In the beginning, it had been hard- she couldn't get used to ten new men every night, never having her own pleasure in the mix, and maybe making eight fifty a night if she was lucky. But now it was an everyday thing. She knew the perfect corners, where and how to attract the big spenders, and exactly what got the best results.

Crossing the street, she strolled to a coffee shop, where she often found men without women of their own, willing to pour out the cash for one pleasurable night. So she stood outside the glass doors and waited.

OOOOOOOO

As the yellow light turned red, and the Porsche convertible came to a slow stop, he stared at the woman standing in front of the coffee shop. She looked so familiar. Her curly long brown hair and brown eyes... the curves... yes, she looked so familiar. He couldn't stop looking at her, this woman who he could swear he knew, but didn't know how.

Her sumptuous body was calling to him, and he couldn't stop looking over her entire body. It was driving him mad, seeing this woman he knew he must know, but not remembering who she was.

OOOOOOOO

The same black Porsche had waited through two sets of lights, and she could see the silhouette of a man looking through the window, but due to the tinted windows, she couldn't see his face. Smiling, she walked over to the car, swaying her hips seductively. He rolled the window down when he noticed she was coming his way, and leaned closer to the passenger side.

When she got to the car, she looked down and rested her arms over the side, and licked her lips. When she saw the handsome face, however, she gasped and nearly fainted. The gleaming blonde hair was still sleeked back, but framed the face perfectly. The silver grey eyes caught the reflecting light, and the pink lips looked so soft, just like she remembered them.

OOOOOOOO

Her curly brown hair fell in cascades around her shoulders, her beautiful shoulders, and her pink lips looked so soft and luscious, just like he remembered. Her eyes had black liner around them, making them pop out, and he knew who she was.

"What are you doing in America?" He knew she recognised him, and he knew they didn't have to act as if they didn't.

OOOOOOOO

"Draco? What...what...what are you doing in America?" Suddenly, her heart beat sped up. She hadn't seen him in ten years. Other than the fact that his hair had slightly thinned, he was the same gorgeous man she remembered. He had bulked up considerably over the years, and she could see the toned muscles on his arms, and his abs were visible under his skin tight shirt. Absolutely gorgeous.

"I live here... Hermione, what are you doing? Are you... are you a prostitute?" His eyes were filled with concern for his lost love, and he desperately wanted to ask her into his car. But he didn't know if she was the same person he remembered from Hogwarts, from five years after Hogwarts, and the last few times they had shared each other's company.

"Draco... um...well, yes, actually, but... Draco, I don't see how this is any of your business." With that, she turned on her heel and stormed back down the street, in the same direction she had come from, not caring where she was going.

OOOOOOOO

Seeing Draco Malfoy again was like a slap in the face. Ever since she had lost the baby, all she had been able to think about was getting away from London, Draco, Harry and Ron, everything she knew that would remind her of her happy life. She had apparated to New York, bringing with her all the money she could shrink into her jeans pockets, and left her old world behind. She'd bought a flat, and thrown her wand into a river. The fifty thousand she had only lasted her a few months and as soon as she got in with the wrong crowd, her marijuana addiction took over. At first, it had just been small little spurts, getting high here and there. Something to take the pain away. Make her forget. But soon, it got old, and she moved on to bigger things. Now, she was a heroine addict. She'd had a scare of AIDS a few years ago, from using the dirty needles she shared with her drug buddies.

For a while, she thought she really had left it all behind her. She was not happy with the life she led, and she desperately wanted off the drugs, but she had tried and failed so many times. So it was the life of a common prostitute and drug addict that she led now.

And how dare he show his face now? How dare he come back into her life after all these years? All sorts of questions riddled her mind, like 'Is he married?', 'Does he have any kids? Other than our dead one...', 'Where is he living?', "What made him come to New York?', but the one that was really driving her mad, truly, was 'Does he still love me?'.

OOOOOOOO

Draco pulled a U-Turn and sped off after Hermione's disappearing frame, determined to talk to her, listen to her, tell her his story, hear hers, and most of all, hear if she still loved him with the burning passion he had for her.

He pulled the black Porsche up beside her and leaned over; trying to look at her from the passenger side window, see her still beautiful face.

"Hermione... Hermione, please, talk to me? Hermione, I haven't seen you in years, Hermione. Please, Hermione, come to lunch with me. I'll buy you the best lunch you've ever had." His grey eyes were filled with sorrow, compassion, and something else that hadn't filled his eyes in ten years.

OOOOOOOO

"Hermione... Hermione, please, talk to me? Hermione, I haven't seen you in years, Hermione. Please, Hermione, come to lunch with me. I'll buy you the best lunch you've ever had." His grey eyes were filled with sorrow, compassion, and something else that she hadn't seen in ten years. It was love. Not lust, but love. Real love. At first, she couldn't recognise it as anything but a man trying to satisfy his needs, but after a few seconds of staring at the handsome face, her will faltered and she nodded slowly.

He opened the door for her and she gingerly put her heeled foot on the expensive floor mat. Then she slowly brought the rest of her nearly naked body into his car, slipping into the smooth leather seat and sighing in simple pleasure. It had been so long since she'd sat in a nice car, other than cabs and wrecked up junkies, that she completely lost herself in it. She forgot to shut the door, stupidly, and suddenly felt his warm arm brush hers. She jumped, and realising he was only shutting the door, she smiled bashfully, hoping he hadn't noticed. The slightest touch was setting her on edge. She knew right now, that even though her mind didn't want it, couldn't bare the sight of him, her heart, and her body, wanted him. Her heart wanted him for the kind words, the soothing touches, the intelligent conversations, the bright mind, the incredible sense of humour... and her body wanted him for the soothing touches too, and the sweet caresses, the searching kisses, the amazing body, and the orgasms he would flood her with every night.

OOOOOOOO

He would give her all the time she needed. He was in no rush, and he had all the time in the world. He had left Pansy after the war, and after Hermione left, he had never had a real relationship since. He'd been torn. Sure, he'd had a few one night stands, but that was it.

He took in her entire body, the short tight skirt, the incredibly low cut shirt, the high heels, the fishnet stockings. He sneered that any man would have her body, and couldn't quite bring himself to look past what she had become. He couldn't believe she was selling herself on the street! Why would she do such a thing?! Didn't she know she was better than that? But he would let her explain herself. He would give her all the sympathy he could. He still loved her, and he wanted to help her.

Draco slowly drove the car to his favourite restaurant, contemplating in his mind all the questions he would ask her, and wanting to jump on her at the same time. He breathed deep, supposedly calming breaths, and tried to keep his eyes on the road in front of him, not on her exposed cleavage.

"You know, you can enjoy the sight all you want. I wouldn't dress this way if that wasn't what I was going for." Her eyes were focused out the passenger side window, and he didn't know how she had guessed. But then again, she was a witch after all, and witches can surprise you. But it wasn't really a surprise. He knew she would feel his gaze, deep in the back of his mind. He still knew all her little quirks.

OOOOOOOO

She felt his eyes on her, watching her, exploring her body, noticing every little change, memorizing her all over again. The corners of her eyes crinkled slightly, and then started to tear again. No! She had left him behind all those years ago, and as soon as she gave him the answers he didn't want to hear and he left her alone, she would go back to her own life. What little life she had.

As the car pulled into a parking lot and slowly stopped in a spot, she prepared herself for the emotional wreck she knew she would become now. She knew she couldn't have any alcohol, because that would just set her off into a frenzy and she wouldn't be able to shut up.

Sighing heavily, Hermione undid her seatbelt and opened the heavy door, careful not to hit the blue SUV on her other side. Her body carried itself out, and her hips swayed on their own as she walked to the front of the car. When Draco walked toward her and put his arm out for her to take, she stared at him as if he were crazy. Why would he offer her his arm? When he offered it again, she hesitantly took it, hating the fact that she loved the feel of his skin on her again. A shiver went down Hermione's spine, and she felt Draco shift his position somewhat, lowering his arm. She knew he'd felt her move.

He led her to the heavy wooden doors, and she suddenly felt terribly self-conscious about her wardrobe. She would stick out like a sore thumb in this place. But, almost like he had read her mind, a black jacket suddenly appeared in his open hand, and he held it up to her, smiling sweetly.

"Ah, I've completely lost my knack for wandless magic, you know?" She took it and covered her torso in the soft fabric, finding that it fit perfectly. "Thank you," she said softly, still trying not to make eye contact.

Draco opened the door and let her walk in first, and she could feel his warm presence all around her. She suddenly had the urge to turn around and kiss him, but she shut her eyes tight and made her hands into little fists. This was the man she had left her world because of. This was the man whose child she had let die inside herself, and whose engagement ring she had thrown in the river along with her wand. This was the man who had captured her heart after twelve years of mutual hatred. The man who had been so imprisoned by his father's will that he had been exercised from the wizarding community, only to be brought back in simply because Hermione had the incredible influence that she did. This was her love, her life, her everything. The reason she had still had hope in herself. And here he was, standing behind her, making her want his soft touch, and her heart cry silently to itself.

OOOOOOOO

When the waiter brought the pair to a table in the corner, Draco caught several men making eyes at Hermione's fine body. He quickly cast an illusionment charm, making it seem as if the two were the most ordinary couple, and nobody would be able to hear their conversation.

He pulled the chair out for Hermione, and when she sat, gently pushed it back in for her. He took his deep breaths again, trying to keep his mind on anything but his pure, unwavering love for Hermione Granger. He tried keeping a straight face, but he knew it was hardly worth trying.

He folded his hands on the tabletop, his eyes trained on hers, his breathing steady. His heart was racing. He'd found her. After ten years, he had found her. His love. His lost love. The woman who had brought him home, who had shown him real love, who he had been engaged to marry. And what had become of her? A prostitute. She was a common prostitute, standing on street corners to work her business, with not a shame in the world, standing there proudly.

How wrong he was.

OOOOOOOO

"Well." Hermione's voice was dry, and she struggled to make it free of any emotion.

"Well... what?" he asked, unsure why she was speaking as if they were complete strangers. Even though really, they were.

"Well, what is it you want to talk about? What do you want to know? Why have you brought me here, where I don't fit in at all, and, why... Draco..." Hermione's eyes were brimming with tears, and her throat felt dry, and filled with glue, at the same time. "Draco... how did you find me? And...And... And why? Why did you talk to me? Why didn't you just... drive on, like all the others do?" The sight of him, and the sound of his smooth voice, was bringing back years of memories.

"Why would I do a thing like that? Why would I drive away, when I've just seen my fiancée, ten years after she ran away without any inclination of why? Why would I do that, Hermione?" Hermione could see the strain in his handsome face, pulling on her heartstrings. His eyes were the same mesmerizing sparkling grey, crying out for her love, and when he reached for her hands on the table, she quickly pulled them into her lap. The look on his face was like one you would have had you been pinched. Shock at first, and then pain.

Hermione sighed, and a soft strand of hair fell in front of her face. She stared at it, marvelling at the colour, the perfect little curl it formed, the slight shine the light gave it. She kept her eyes trained on it, anything to keep her gaze away from Draco Malfoy's face. Suddenly the piece was gone, and the light spark of his finger brushing her cheek woke her from her trance. She hadn't even noticed him leaning forward, to push the hair behind her ear, and she jumped, startled by his light touch yet again. She watched his retreating hand, glaring at it, daring him to come near her again.

"Because, Draco, that's what I wanted you to do. See me for what I am and leave me be. I would think you would hate me for leaving, but here you are, wanting to buy me lunch in an expensive restaurant, driving me around in your expensive car, giving me an expensive jacket, and... And acting as if nothing had ever happened. Well, not exactly nothing, but... but, as if you have no reason to hate me. And you... you have reason to hate me, so why do you not?" Her eyes were filling with tears again. She knew she would start crying any second now, and she couldn't let him see. She could show no weakness. She had to leave him. She had to forget him. If that were possible.

OOOOOOOO

Hermione was right. He should hate her. But he didn't. He couldn't bring himself to hate her, not now, not ever. He wanted to give her a chance. A chance to explain her reasoning for leaving, for ruining their relationship, their home together, everything that they knew together.

"Hermione, I could never hate you. No, I couldn't hate you. Hermione, I do see you for what you have become, and... As much as I may not understand, I don't care." Not true. He definitely did care. But he was right about one thing- he didn't, and never would, understand. "Hermione, you are the woman that stole my heart. For years, you tempted it, drawing it to you, holding it close to your own, and one night... one night, you just ripped it out and ran away with it. My life has never been the same. You were my love, my real true love." He wanted so badly to touch her, to stroke the top of her hand, run his thumb across her cheek, hold her in a tight embrace to his chest, let all the world know that he still loved her. But he knew she wouldn't allow. She would just pull away again.

When he saw the tears forming in her eyes, however, he wanted to cry himself. He hated seeing her in this pain. Knowing he had caused it, he fought a battle deep inside, of whether to leave her alone as she wished, or to fight for her.

OOOOOOOO

Knowing any second she would be sobbing in her seat, and he would feel bound to wipe her face, Hermione decided it was time to leave Draco, and hopefully for good this time. She would pray to never see his handsome face again, and never have to tell him the truth of why she had left, and how she had been living for the last ten years. She would pray to never feel the temptation of his body calling to her, to never hear another one of his fabulous stories, and to never let him see her on her corner again. As much as it was her business and she was semi comfortable doing it, she felt the strangest pang of guilt in her chest that he knew how she was making her money.

Rubbing her cold hands on her bare thighs, Hermione tried to think of the best and politest way to tell Draco that she appreciated his concern, but she didn't want his help, his companionship, or anything else to do with him.

"Draco... I'm sorry, but this isn't right. This feels completely wrong to me, seeing you now. I left you and our love all those years ago for a good reason, and..." she stood up, ran her fingers through her soft hair, and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, but I've got to go. I don't want to see you again, and if you see me on the street, or in a cafe, or... or anywhere else, please, just ignore me. It is for the best that we have nothing to do with each other anymore." Her whole body was shaking, and her cries were echoing in the high ceilinged room. With that, she turned on her heel and walked to the door, hoping not to see him again.

OOOOOOOO

Draco mistook Hermione's sharp breathing and bloodshot eyes solely for the sadness that was threatening to overtake her. How could he understand the other half of her problems right now? He was still part of the wizarding world. He could simply take a sip of calming drought if need be. He didn't need the drugs to make him feel better. Draco couldn't ever understand the thoughts running through her mind. He couldn't understand an addiction, especially a muggle addiction.

As he watched her walk away from him, his jaw dropped and one single tear rolled down his face and landed on his shirt. Draco hadn't cried in years. And now here he was, crying, in a restaurant, not caring if the entire world saw him. The woman he loved was walking away from him, again, and he was just letting her. After several minutes, the shock wore off and the overwhelming emotions he had pent up flooded out of him. He cradled his head in his hands on the table, crying violently, his shallow sobs shaking his whole body, making him almost unable to breathe at all.

"No... No, this can't be happening. Not again..." he whispered to himself.


	2. Chapter 2

**Alright, here is chapter 2 for you guys. I decided since I had a bit of a breakthrough today and finished chapter 3, I would upload chapter 2... I know I shouldn't but I am. Lol. Anwyay, please remember that nice reviews will help me write more! BUT, things saying "When are you uploading?" without any other purpose than that just piss me off and make me NOT want to write. So keep it to reviews or constructive criticisms :)**

After finding her dealer and getting her much needed fix, Hermione headed for the hotel on the other side of town. She often found customers in the business hotels, men who were away for nights, who would like to spice up their trips. She'd likely get a good pay check tonight.

Her long legs carried her scantily clad body far, but the walk was over an hour long, and she soon began to get a bit tired. Clouds were beginning to form overhead, and the chill wind stirred past her bare legs, making goose bumps form over her arms and calves. She hugged her arms tight to her chest, feeling the warmth pressed against her, and stopped walking. She took in her surroundings, hoping to find a place to wait out the cold, but no such luck. A gas station, a McDonald's, and a grocery store. And all the places knew her business and kicked her out whenever they saw her. Something about it being bad for business... she rolled her eyes at the memory, and kept on walking.

After a few more minutes of walking and three more honks from men in cars, she felt the first water droplets fall on her arms and shoulders. She stopped, sighing. Reluctantly she looked up at the sky, seeing the water coming down to her. Hermione closed her eyes, just standing there, somewhat enjoying the feel of the warm water landing on her, coming faster now... and part of her hated it; hating that somehow this day could just get worse.

Hermione didn't intend to let this ruin her day, though. After all, maybe the rain would go away? So she wrapped her arms around herself again and continued walking, hoping it was just a light drizzle, but knowing different.

OOOOOOOO

"Sir... sir, can I get you anything?" asked the shiny faced young waiter. Draco could tell the boy was nervous, and as much as he tried to control himself, he could feel the fury burning in his gut. He simply shook his head no, but the boy wouldn't be deterred easily. "Are... are you sure, sir?" Why would he ask again? Couldn't he see that the man was crying, and wanted to be alone?!

"No," Draco said weakly, trying to swallow his grief, and not take it out on the boy. He shut his mouth tight and tried to stand. His legs felt like lead, and he grabbed the edge of the table for support. Suddenly, his face felt hot and his stomach was doing flips. He was having trouble breathing, and realised, he was going to be sick. "Oh... oh shit!" He tried to run to the bathroom in vain, and before he could get there, emptied the contents of his stomach on a waitress coming in his direction. He gasped, apologized, offered to pay her cleaning bills, and ran clumsily out to his car.

Back in the privacy of his convertible, Draco leaned onto the steering wheel and wrapped his arms around his stomach. His body was racked with sobs again, and unable to breathe almost entirely now, the tears streamed down his face.

For another hour he sat there, unable to think of anything but Hermione. Slowly, his eyes dry, he leaned back in his seat and wiped his eyes with the palms of his hands. He rubbed his face off with his arms and tried his calming breaths exercise again. Instead of sadness, now, his body was filled with anger and guilt. He felt like an idiot, a downright fool, and like he had shirked his responsibilities. Why couldn't he help her? Why couldn't he save her?

OOOOOOOO

"Damn it." As the rain came pouring down in sheets now, Hermione could do nothing but walk through it. Her hair was stuck to her face and back, and her shoes squished underfoot. "God fucking damn it." The wind was blowing strong and fast now, whipping the rain into her face, stinging her cheeks.

Standing on yet another corner, waiting for the light to change so she could cross, she felt guilty all over again. _Standing on a corner._ She ran her fingers through her hair and pushed it behind her ears, remembering how she had hated it when she was a kid. She was drowning in memories. Madam Pomfrey fixing her teeth after Draco had cursed her so menacingly... Mad-Eye turning him into a ferret... him getting mauled by Buckbeak for being an idiot... she laughed at the ridiculous things Draco had done when they were younger. Of course, the war brought back something other than laughs. She knew it hadn't been his fault... that it had been the influence of Voldemort and his parents, and that he had been afraid for his life...but... she completely understood why he had been expelled from the community. And still, she loved him, entirely.

However, Hermione couldn't laugh at the positive things she remembered about the stunning man. The first time she had bumped into him, three years after the war, and instantly noticed the change in him. Having coffee with him, and getting to know him all over again. The _real_ him. The _real_ Draco Malfoy. The man that had conjured up a floating garden, full with unicorns, Heartstring Butterflies, singing flowers, and everything else possibly romantic for their first date. Who had waited six dates to even dare trying to hold her hand. Twelve before he even tried giving her a good-night kiss. She had known it was nerves and not wanting to make Hermione uncomfortable, not anything like he was not interested in her. Nobody could go to all that trouble and not be interested. It was almost annoying how cautious he had been, but she had waited patiently.

As she remembered the happiest years of her life, after she had brought Draco back to London and into the wizarding community, and people had learned to at least tolerate him, she sat on a bench against a shop and rested her elbows on her knees. She closed her eyes and let the dreamy smile cover her face, letting true happiness back into her life. She knew she would regret this later, once the novelty of seeing him had worn off, but she couldn't bare to put it away just yet.

OOOOOOOO

Draco was driving like a madman and he knew it. His sadness had turned into pure rage, at himself, Hermione, the world. He slammed his fist down onto the horn, letting it blare for a minute before taking it off.

"Fuck! Fuck it all! Fuck you, and your men, and your body, and..." He knew he would break down again any second and pulled off the highway, into a field, and threw his head back against the seat. He hit his head, hard, against the headrest several times, and punched the horn again.

He knew he had to let everything out- he couldn't let it sit here, fuelling his already bad temper and his low emotional pain tolerance. When he was young, he'd been taught to deal with discomfort in a way that made him seem stronger, to never let his weaknesses show, and to hurt people as much as he could. He resented his parents for this, but thanked them for one good thing they managed to teach him- never let your anger build up. Let it out, in any way necessary, but without hurting those you cared about. Let it be screaming at the top of his lungs in his room, punching his pillow, riding off on his broom for hours on end, or any other means in which he didn't hurt himself, but let it out. Anger could destroy a man. This was the only thing from his parents that he actually believed.

So deciding to do something, _anything_, he got out of his car and walked into the field. When he found a spot far from the road and prying eyes, he turned to the sky and stared at the blue high above. The growl started deep in his chest, rumbling up through his throat, and out through his mouth, roaring with every particle in his being. Grabbing his wand out of his pocket suddenly, without any thought, he charmed the sky and the clouds darkened, and the air chilled. He clenched his teeth and shut his eyes tight, seeing the black splotches on his eyelids, and let the cool water beat down onto him.

Draco ran his hands through his now messy blonde hair, and grabbed it in two clumps by the roots. He fell to his knees, yelling through his teeth, not caring that the grass was going to stain his expensive designer jeans.

He screamed again, as loud as he could, and then threw the rest of his body into the grass. "Fuck! Fuck, fuck, FUCK!" Right now, cursing the sky and swearing was the only harmless thing he could think of. Several hours of rain wouldn't hurt anyone, and dirty words certainly wouldn't. "Urgh, fuuuuu-hu-huck..." He slapped his hand on the ground, wincing when it landed on a pointed rock. Again, he cried to himself, all alone, with no one to see his bursts of emotion but random strangers driving by.

OOOOOOOO

As the rain pelted down on her unmoving body, Hermione's mind was completely elsewhere, lost in her fantasies and recollections of happier times. She didn't notice that she was getting soaked, that she had black makeup running all down her face, or that the rain was mixing with her again fresh tears.

OOOOOOOO

Twenty minutes went by, and once again, Draco thought he might possibly have his sanity back. So he lifted himself off the soft ground with a grunt and walked over to his car. Finally realising that he had left the top down and his leather seats were probably ruined by now, he quickly cast a bubble charm over the car and then an evaporation charm as well. They were a little less than gleaming, but otherwise fine.

He sat in his seat and turned the key in the ignition. It started almost silently, and he smiled weakly that he would have spent such an absurd amount on a car. A _car._ Just another thing he had tried to make himself happy with. With an exaggerated sigh, he put the car into drive and did his second illegal u-turn for the day, and sped off back towards town.

The road was slick from the rain he had caused, but Draco didn't care. He was a wizard, after all. He could stop an accident if he had to. Absent mindedly he pushed the button for the radio and turned it to a classic rock station he didn't know the name of. When Black Dog by Led Zeppelin came on, he smiled broadly and shook his head once, enjoying the sounds flowing around him. Who would have thought Draco Malfoy would have gone from classical to rock? He laughed at himself and continued down the highway, wondering what he would do once he got there.

OOOOOOOO

Knowing that if she wanted to get anywhere she had to keep walking, Hermione stood from the bench and put her memories aside. She knew it had been a bad idea to let them invade her mind again, but she couldn't have stopped it if she'd wanted to. She still loved him, she knew that much. How she could still love him after ten years of not even seeing him, she couldn't know, but she did. And then... the look in his eyes... she'd recognized that look, the look he had only for her, the look that could penetrate and tear your soul open. She knew that he still loved her.

But she kept walking. She turned a corner and headed for the direction of the hotel, her original destination, keeping her eyes peeled for any men she might get to... help relieve the stresses of a hard day.

OOOOOOOO

Since he hadn't eaten any lunch, and his stomach was making funny little noises at him, he decided to go for something simple and fast. He knew there was a McDonald's nearby, and even though it certainly wasn't one of his favourites, he didn't feel like anything else at the time.

When Bohemian Rhapsody came on the radio, he smiled again and belted out all the main lyrics, laughing loudly when the song was over. Then, for some odd reason, he felt a sense of déjà vu. He couldn't determine what it was of, but he definitely felt it. He pursed his lips in concentration, trying to decipher what could be happening, or about to happen, but the obvious never crossed his mind.

OOOO

Holding his Big Mac in one hand and the steering wheel in the other, he drove around a corner and nearly choked on the bite of chemically unsound hamburger "meat." The obvious crossed his mind. Here was his déjà vu.

"You've got to be kidding me. You have _got_ to be kidding me!" He looked up, shaking his head, as if talking to a godly presence high above. Draco didn't know whether he should just drive by, turn the other way, or stop. She would want him to leave her alone, but what about what he wanted? Draco knew what she was putting him through, with just one chance meeting, and he knew it was going to torture him for at least another year. What could he lose by trying to talk to her again?

OOOOOOOO

She didn't hear the smooth engine of the car pull up behind her, but she heard it splash past a puddle. Rolling her eyes at her sudden paranoia, she turned her head to look who was driving behind her.

Hermione's entire body froze solid. "_What is wrong with you?_" she thought to herself, her mind panic stricken. Couldn't he leave her alone?

As she glared at the car, it stopped beside her and the window rolled down. She crossed her arms and stepped closer to the car and knelt down to see inside. She could see him clearly, even though it was dark now, and she knew something had happened. His jeans were covered in mud and grass stains, and there were mud smears down his arms. She could tell that he had been crying, and his hair was in unusual disarray.

"What happened to you?" Hermione snarled. She tried to wipe her face of any emotion or thought, but she knew her eyes would betray her. She could say it was the rain smearing her makeup, but he would know the truth. She could say the tears were from her sudden misfortune of walking in the rain, but he would know the truth. Draco always knew the truth. It had always been impossible for Hermione to hide things from Draco, and why should it be any different now.

"You've been crying," he whispered, just loud enough for Hermione to hear. He bit his bottom lip in the way she had always found so seductive, but she pushed it out of her mind. Haughtily she pushed her hair back again, took a deep breath, and brought her arm up to rest her chin on her hand.

"You didn't answer my question, Draco. What happened? Why are you covered in mud?" She raised her eyebrow, daring him not to answer again. "And I hardly find myself worth crying over, so don't say it's because of me." Hermione knew it was, knew it was because somehow, _somehow_, he still held a special spot for her in his heart. If it hadn't been for her own feelings, she wouldn't have believed it, but she knew he must feel the same.

"Hermione, please. Let me help you. I _want_ to help you, Hermione." The desperate look in his eyes was drawing her in, but she knew she couldn't let Draco pull her back to him. Nothing about their life had been right. She'd known that the day she learned of her miscarriage. If it had been meant to be, that would not have happened. It was her sign from the gods. _Do not marry Draco Malfoy._ She loved him intensely, but she couldn't deny the signs.

"Please, Hermione. I'm sorry about lunch, and I'm sorry about whatever caused you to... leave, all those years ago, but Hermione... just talk to me! I don't care what you've done with your life, or what you do in your spare time, or your choice in men, or... I don't care about any of that! I just care about the fact that I have just found the woman I loved, ten years later, and even if there is nothing there anymore, I want to at least talk to you!" Draco chose his words carefully, trying not to say anything to offend her or make her feel guilty, and for that, Hermione could respect him. He also didn't want to take the chance and assume his feelings were reciprocated.

"Draco Malfoy, it sounds very much like you are begging. I didn't know Malfoys begged. I suppose we learn something new every day, don't we?" Hermione was shocked at the coldness in her voice, but if it sent him on his way, so be it. She had to get rid of him. It was getting harder to resist him every second she was in his presence.

"Alright, yes, I am begging. Begging you, Hermione Granger, for one conversation. A real conversation, a good long talk, lasting at least an hour. We don't have to talk about anything unpleasant, nothing that one or the other doesn't wish to discuss... it could be nothing but simple catching up, you know, I saw so-and-so, this is where I'm working, living, blah blah blah... just talk to me, Hermione. I'm sorry for whatever I did wrong all those years ago, and I guess I can't fix it, especially not now, but if nothing else, I wish we could be on firm ground..." He was tearing her defences down one by one, making her wish for one single second she could comply.

"Draco..." she sniffled and licked her lips, trying to think of a tactful way to say she didn't want anything to do with him. It wasn't true, though. She wanted everything to do with him. How could she lie to herself, to the man she loved, to anyone else who had known them? Hermione wasn't the lying type, but she had done it. But, it is a lot different lying to a person on the street than it is to a man you love.

OOOOOOOO

Draco could see that he was knocking down her barriers, but he had to take this slow. If at any time he tried to force her into anything, she could turn and run on a dime.

He turned the radio off and ran his hand through his hair, trying to keep himself calm, but to no avail. His heart and mind were racing, and he could feel the familiar pressure building in his chest.


	3. Chapter 3

Part 3

She didn't know how she'd ended up back in the car, but she had. Her breath caught in her throat, and it felt like her heart would explode in the confines of her chest. Here she was, sitting beside him again, so close, she could touch him if she wanted, and unable to even blink once.

OOOOOOOO

Now that he'd gotten her in his car again, he didn't know what to do. His mind hadn't planned that far ahead, for once.

OOOOOOOO

"So, now that I'm here, in your car, yet again, where do you plan on taking me for this conversation, Draco?" Her tone was dry and flat, and she crossed her arms in a "no-nonsense" way. Her eyes trained on his, Draco felt as if he were on display for her.

Draco didn't know how to answer her just yet, so he simply replied, "You'll just have to wait and see." He drew in a breath, holding it in his mouth, and then blew it out making a putting noise with his lips. He heard her giggle slightly and looked over. Raising an eyebrow, he cocked a slight grin and let a soft chuckle come out. She covered her mouth, trying not to laugh again, but couldn't keep it in. The noise and the look on his face was priceless, and she couldn't help but burst out laughing. "You think that's funny?" he mocked, still smiling. He raised his eyebrows up and down, and did the noise again. When she shook with her silent laughter, he let a huge grin plaster his face and burst out himself.

Neither paying attention to where they were going, they ended up outside of a book store. He moved his hand forwards in a showing gesture, and she shrugged and nodded. Both got out of the car and walked around to the front door, wondering how this would go. Draco opened the door for Hermione, and she nodded and walked in in front of him.

"Let's get a coffee first?" Hermione nodded again and he led her to the coffee shop in the back corner and he ordered two small black hazelnut coffees. When she gave him a funny look, he asked, "What, has your favourite changed?" She shook her head no and looked down at the floor.

She was certainly acting peculiar, he thought, but he supposed she had good reason. He would probably be acting strange in her position. He also realised he was doing a lot of leading today. He led her to his favourite purple velvet couch in the back behind a few shelves, and sat down on an end.

OOOOOOO

He'd remembered her favourite coffee? After ten years? This surprised her greatly. She didn't remember _his_ favourites... did she? She'd think about that later. Right now, she had to remember all the reasons why she'd left him. Slowly he was growing on her again, and she couldn't let him back in her life.

Hermione followed Draco to the back of the bookstore and stopped at the comfy looking purple couch. It wasn't long enough to sit far away, and there were no chairs nearby. She didn't want to sit so close to him... she groaned inwardly and took her seat next to him, only six or so inches away from his thigh. She took a breath and the sweet scent of his cologne filled her nostrils. It was delicious, and nothing like muggle cologne. It was too potent. _Must_ be wizard. She hoped he didn't notice her holding her breath, but she didn't care as much as she would have liked.

"This is a nice couch. I haven't been in here in ages. They um... they don't really like me coming in here by myself anymore." Hermione looked off to the side, ashamed of her accidental confession, and bit her bottom lip.

"Oh." Sensing her discomfort, he decided to do something to lighten the mood. "Well, I got kicked out of a muggle furniture shop the other day." He nodded his head with a straight face.

Hermione raised an eyebrow and looked at him. "Really... you got kicked out of a muggle shop? What on earth did you _do?_" She tried to stifle her giggles, but it was starting to hurt her chest.

OOOOOOOO

"Oh, nothing much. I just fell asleep on one of the beds, trying to decide which one I liked better. I wasn't sure, so I took a nap. It was a mighty comfortable bed, that one, and I was having the most marvellous dream, until that bald bloke woke me up... stupid Americans. When will they learn not to wake a sleeping wizard? I hexed him to have horrible dreams the next few weeks. It was quite entertaining, really." He smiled at her, and was happy to see a huge smile plastering her face.

"Well, it sounds like you get into quite the mischief, still. I don't think I really miss bailing you out of trouble every day though, no, not missing that! Always some ridiculous tale of simply wanting to feel whether a dragon's hide was as tough as they say, or wanting to know what flavour a little girl's lollipop is, or asking a muggle lady if her beehive hairdo is really a beehive... boy, you came up with some interesting stuff..." Hermione turned her body to look him squarely, admiring the look of him not perfectly groomed. The rough, messy look almost made him look even better, like he wasn't afraid of anything.

"Ah, that day at the dragon sanctuary... good times, yes?" Draco smiled at his own idiocy, and rose his coffee under his nose. He closed his eyes and took a deep sniff, enjoying the deep nutty roast. "Ah..." He pursed his lips and sipped the steaming beverage, marvelling at the hot liquid slipping down his throat so effortlessly.

Hermione also sipped her coffee, smiling with her eyes, forgetting her woes. Amazing that a witch of her calibur wasn't noticing that little bit of calming drought Draco had slipped into her drink. "I can't believe you still remember my favourite coffee..." she whispered.

"Why wouldn't I? I remember everything important." When she was silent again for a minute, he realized this was an awkward thing to say. "Then again, it's my favourite as well, so obviously I would remember it."

"Draco, what are the chances of driving aimlessly and ending up in a certain place?" she asked.

"Well, it depends on the driver's mood, and why they are driving somewhere, I guess. I don't know... are you asking why I chose this bookstore? Because really, I don't know. I just looked up and it was in front of me, and so it was obvious this was the place to go." Draco took another sip of his coffee and watched her face wearily. She seemed to be doubting something.

"Well, Draco, I guess everything happens for a reason, as they say. I believe we were meant to choose this bookstore. I mean, think of everything that happened in bookstores... particularly that fight between Arthur and your father..." Hermione sighed and looked into the deep brown depths of the cup before her. "You know..." she started, but decided against it. "Draco, tell me, what sort of things are you into now? What is going on in your life? How does the great Draco Malfoy, possibly the most stuck up, pretentious, self-absorbed pureblood of our generation, live almost strictly muggle?" She raised an eyebrow and grinned at him impishly.

"Ha, me? Pretentious? Stuck-up? Self absorbed? I believe you've got me mixed up with someone else, miss, because I haven't been any of those things for quite some time. But, I suppose I can answer the first part of your question. And maybe the second half of your second question. Well, for the last three years, I have lived in muggle New York. I don't really like the city much... I tend to stick to the towns more... Anything wizardry I need, I have Zabini ship wizard first class, since the few shops around here are not very good. I live in a quaint two bedroom bungalow by the river, with an amazing view. I've got my eagle owl, which is quite the little bitch I must say... she's got a horrible habit of nipping particularly hard if you forget her treats... anyway, I've also got a pretty white cat named Lilly which my mother gave me a few Christmases ago.

I work around a fair bit. For a while I was managing a well known restaurant, but soon decided that that wasn't for me. Then for a few months I worked as a personal shopper in a men's outfitter, and while that was... interesting, and mildly entertaining, it also wasn't for me. Then," he stifled a giggle at this, "one day at the mall, I was approached by a woman, asking me if I'd like to be a model. I laughed and laughed at her, but when I saw that she was serious, I told her I'd think about it and get back to her. I took a pamphlet and researched the company, knowing of many cases of people throwing away hundreds of dollars thinking these things were real and then finding them to be scams, but this place seemed to be legitimate. So I called them up, asked for the woman I'd spoken to, and she set up an appointment right away. Now, if you can believe it, I'm modeling for a hair gel commercial," he saw the grin forming on her lips, so he held up a finger. "Don't say it! Anyway, a hair gel commercial, a sunscreen add, a razor commercial, and I was even asked to do a commercial for the same men's outfitters that I had worked for. I've yet to reply to them, but I think I'm going to take it. I don't think it'll be anything really long term, but it's quite fun. It also brings in much un-needed money... seeing as how my father still sends me large, ridiculous sums on a regular basis.

Anyway, other than the last three years in New York, for the seven or so years before that, I did a lot of travelling. For the first year, I stayed in London, but I sold the house and moved in with my parents. I know, strange, but that was what I felt most comfortable with at the time. I didn't do much of anything. I didn't visit, and wouldn't talk to any of my friends. After a year of misery with my parents, though, I decided it was time to do some much needed soul searching. I traveled all over Europe. All over Italy, Greece, Spain, France, Germany, Switzerland... you name it, I was probably there. I did a lot of healing out there, not to mention changing my life indescribably. I started running, and then lifting waits, eating healthier, I developed a passion for horses, I learned French, I made great friends with an Italian gentleman who just happened to have a sweet tooth for chocolate frogs, and I learned how to make a perfect lasagna." He smiled at this and took another swig of his coffee, revelling in some of the happy memories he'd had over the years.

OOOOOOOO

Like she'd read his mind, Hermione said "Well, Draco, it seems as if you did find your own brand of happiness. The kind you can have without someone else. The kind that is true and genuine, and cannot be replaced." She frowned and ran her hand through her hair. She hadn't meant to say it so harshly, but that was how it came out.

"Well, Draco, it seems as if you did find your own brand of happiness. The kind you can have without someone else. The kind that is true and genuine, and cannot be replaced." Had she read his mind? And why had she said it in such a nasty tone? Perhaps, he thought, she was uncomfortable hearing about how happy he was? Or maybe she thought he'd been happier without her, or that he didn't need her. He couldn't understand either way.

"I guess so, but I still miss the company of others all the time, you know. There's nothing like a deep conversation over a steak dinner, or holding hands in a cinema, opening Christmas gifts with friends and family; helping a friend run around downtown trying to find the perfect outfit for a big date; cuddling in front of the television on a cold night; reminiscing over a cup of delicious coffee... there is no substitute for the love you receive from human beings. None. If I didn't have people in my life, I don't know what I'd do." Keeping his eyes on hers, he took a long gulp of his coffee and set the cup down on the table in front of them.

Hermione broke the stare and looked at the store around them. She sighed, and took a sip of her coffee. Shifting her leg slightly, she felt the hot velvet rub her thigh in a most pleasant way. A shiver ran down her spine, and suddenly an image of Draco running his fingertips down her stomach in a completely erotic way flashed in front of her eyes, causing her to gasp. She shook her head, trying to shake the image away like it were an Etch-A-Sketch, but another one, one of her kissing his neck, and the look on his face... Hermione closed her eyes, hoping to cloud from Draco what was happening.

"What's wrong, Hermione?" She knew he would ask, but she just shook her head and said "Nothing" like people just did that for no reason. "What's it like? What's it like, Draco, still having everything you could possibly want and more? For anything you desire to be handed to you on a silver platter?" She knew what she was saying wasn't true, that he hated all of that, and that that wasn't the way he lived, but she wanted to see how he would defend himself.

"Hermione, you know that's all horse shit. I work for everything I want. I pay for everything I own, everywhere I go, everything I do. I haven't had house elves since I lived with my parents- I cook my own meals and clean my own house. I wash and iron my clothes, and I even do my own little bit of gardening. I don't _want_ things just given to me. I want to deserve everything I have, I want to come about it properly, like the rest of the world does. Like I said earlier, I live very nearly muggle, Hermione. What the muggles do, I do. _Nothing_ is given to me on a _silver platter_ as you so bluntly put it, and you know that. For fifteen years that is how it has worked. Now, seriously, tell me Hermione, what the hell is all this about? Are you deliberately trying to put me down? Or are you trying to make me angry so I will leave you alone?" He glared at her, and she looked away guiltily. "I guess I'll go with the second one then." He looked down at his lap and shook his head, sighed, and ran both hands through his dishevelled hair.

"Honestly, Hermione, I wish we could at least have a conversation. Maybe the connection we had is lost, and I think I could be ok with that if I had to be, but this just seems to amazing to be a coincidence. I mean, think about it. I've been living in New York for three years, and you've been living here...what..."

"Ten years."

"Right. You've been here for ten years, and I've been here for three, and we are only now meeting? Really, I think that it is meant that we at least have a decent, real conversation. I don't understand why you are so resistant to me, even just being close to me makes you cringe! I don't know what happened to make you fall out of love with me, and frankly if this is the way you are going to act and treat me now, then maybe I don't want to know. I thought, that maybe, just maybe, we could at least stand on some sort of positive ground, but I guess not."

Draco stood, enraged, his face bright red and his eyes slits. Hermione hadn't seen him look like this in over fifteen years. Suddenly her heart was racing. She realized he was terrifying her, and from the look on her face, he also saw what he was doing to her. His face softened instantly, he took a deep breath, and wrung his hands in front of him.

"Oh, I'm sorry..." He sighed again and sat on the couch, grabbed the coffee, and finished off the rest of the cup.

Hermione smoothed out her skirt and looked Draco right in the eyes, keeping the contact this time, licked her lips, and tried to find the right words for how she was feeling. "Draco, I... see... well..." she took another deep breath, "Draco, I'm sorry. I know I just said things I shouldn't have. I guess, maybe... I think I've been trying to justify this for ten years and it just isn't working. I think I'm trying to give myself reasons for why I had to leave you, but none of them seem to be solid. I know why I did, and when I analyze it over and over, it seems like a ridiculous reason to have left. To have left you, and the life we were going to have, my parents, Harry and Ginny and Ron, the amazing house we had, my fabulous job, oh... I don't know. And the thing is, I was trying so, so, _so_ hard to get over you, and really, it only even started a few months ago. And now... now, you're here, and you're living and breathing and talking, and... _and you're drinking coffee with me!_ It's like, after all those years, and the progress I was finally making, it is like it's all gone down the tubes. Everything that I worked for is gone. I used to have everything, and now I have nothing, and I was almost used to it. Almost." She saw that Draco was about to speak, so she shook her head no and continued. "I don't know that I'm ready for this. I think today, these two meetings... I think it's completely left me off guard. I feel like I might, as you've already seen, say something untrue and that I don't really mean. I think that perhaps, if we were to meet again, I could be prepared and handle it, but not now. I think with just this, saying what I am now, I'm saying more than I should, really. It's as if I have these walls, and although I don't want them there, they are. Maybe, if you gave me your number, if I were ever ready to have this discussion with you, when we were both really ready, because I can see that right now you aren't ready either, maybe if I decided to talk with you again I would call you..."

"Oh, Hermione, of course." Draco pulled a pen out of his pocket and ripped a piece off of the paper coffee cup and wrote his address and number on it and put it in her open hand. "You call me _any_ time. I can drop everything in a matter of minutes if I need to, and trust me, you are worthy of dropping everything. And please, if you ever need help, or money, or just... someone to talk to, give me a call. Please." The look in his eyes was like a puppy, and Hermione suddenly felt like she owed him. She nodded her head solemnly and stood to leave. "Oh! Would you, um, like a drive home or something? Or... to where ever it you were heading?"

"Um, no, that's alright. Thanks." She shook her head and turned away, lips locked, trying to keep the tears at bay until she was far, far away.


End file.
